Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Writer Leaves . . . Again

The Writer has been gone a whole week to teach at Hollins University and she'll be there another five weeks. It's such a long time. I miss her. Don't you?

Miss who? It's wonderful without The Writer. I can to do what I please, like sleep all day without her bugging me.

Don't give me that. You love it when The Writer brushes you--she says it's like currying a horse because you're so big, but you purr and "make biscuits" in the air. And you'll miss nosing into her sitting room every evening for "cookie."

She doesn't always give me a piece of cookie. Sometimes it's cake or a donut or pie. I don't like chocolate very much but I eat it to be polite. Okay, I kind of do miss Evening Cookie and the brushing. But that's all.

And you like to hop in bed first thing in the morning so you can wipe your big nose all over The Writer's face.

Well . . . yeah.

And who else throws Mousie or a balled up piece of paper for you to catch?

Actually, that's a lot of work. I only do it so The Writer gets some exercise. Otherwise, she'd be a big ol' blob.

You do miss her, admit it.

Maybe a little tiny bit.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Winchester Settles Out of Court

Well, here we are in the hallowed halls of the District Court where I'm suing The Writer for throwing me in the clink.

Looks a lot like our hallway. Are you nervous?

I have my power green tie and my glasses that make me look like Catticus Finch and my briefcase. Why should I be nervous?

Power ties are red and not a St. Patrick's Day gag tie. And your briefcase is really a vintage Elizabeth Arden make-up case.

Never mind the details. Where is The Writer? And what's this paper the bailiff handed me?

It's a summons. The Writer is going to change your name if you don't drop your case against her.

Change my name? To what?

The innkeeper at the Hope and Glory Inn where The Writer, her huband, and I vacationed, is Dudley. The Writer thinks Dudley suits you better than Winchester. You act like a Dudley.

This is monstrous! I am not a Dudley!

I think she's right. Dudley does suit you.

I'm leaving this kangaroo court right now! I should have known the wheels of justice wouldn't turn in my favor!

See you later . . . Dudley.