Friday, February 13, 2009

Ellsworth and Winchester Get Married

Ellsworth: Oooh, this is so sudden!

Winchester: Wha? What year is it? What's going on? Why am I in this get-up?

We're getting married!

We haven't been on this blog for two months . . . I thought it was shut down. And now you tell me we're getting married?

Okay, we're not really getting married. We're pretending we're The Writer and Her Husband. Valentine's Day is their 30th wedding anniversary. The Writer wanted to be married on Valentine's Day because of a children's book. You can read all about it on the blog Vintage Books My Kid Loves.

Where has The Writer been all this time? She flat-out forgot about this blog. And us.

No, she didn't. She's "reorganizing her priorities."

A fancy way of saying she crams down donuts every morning while she reads diet books. I've counted the Krispy Kreme bags in the trash . . . it's not pretty.

Okay, we have to act out The Writer and Her Husband's wedding day 30 years ago. The minister has just said, "Winchester, do you take Ellsworth as your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, from this day forward?"


What do you mean "What?" The answer is "I do!" You're backing out, aren't you?

I can't hear . . . the minister's breath reeks of garlic. Did you notice he's a rat?

My mother warned me about the difficulties of a mixed marriage.

You mean between a cat and a stuffed animal?

No, a Virginian and a Yankee!

Whatever. Is it over? Is somebody going to throw the heart-shaped kibble?