Is this the restaurant? The Swampwater Grill? Doesn't sound very swanky to me.
All the chi-chi places have awful names. Makes them even more chi-chi. The understated decor fools you, too. I'm starved!
You're always starved. Is this little blackboard thing the menu?
I'll start with smoked Isle of Skye wood pigeon with quail eggs. Next I'll have pheasant under glass with hothouse white asparagus. For my second course, I believe I'll have medallions of rabbit wrapped in prosciutto. And for dessert, checkerboard terrine of pistaschio and white chocolate ice cream with raspberry sauce.
Winchester, none of those things are even on the menu.
Darn. I had my mouth all set for pheasant, too.
Oh, hello, wait-person. I'll have macaroni and cheese.
Macaroni and cheese! We could have had that at home. Oh, well, I guess I'll have a Caesar salad with extra anchovies. And be quick about it!
Wow! That was fast. How is your salad?
The lettuce is black! Looks like they got it out of the dumpster. And I couldn't crack these croutons with a jackhammer.
My macaroni and cheese doesn't have much cheese, either.
My oyster fork is dirty! Garcon! Where is that guy? They bring the food and you never see them again until check time. Well, I'll just pay and we can go. Forty dollars! Are they kidding me?
Food is so expensive these days. It wouldn't be so bad if you got good food.
I know where we can go. They always have good food and it's affordable.
The Golden Arches!
This post is dedicated to Frank, who'd like a decent meal out sometime